New York Times “Critical Shopper” columnist Alex Kuczynski has lived in New York long enough to experience “extra room” dreams—a phenomenon Adam Gopnik mentioned here Tuesday night. She has also experienced Botox as a former “cosmetic surgery addict,” and writes about it in detail in her book Beauty Junkies. Today, she refuses to even use nail polish. She’ll be here Monday night with a diverse panel to discuss Why Smart Women Still Care About Their Looks. But first, she takes on the 92YQ.

How many years, apartments and in what neighborhoods have you lived in NYC?
In college, from 1986 to 1990, Barnard and Columbia dorms, and two sublet apartments. Then Red Hook, Brooklyn. My boyfriend would meet me at the subway stop and walk me home to the occasional lullaby of automatic weapons fire. Prince Street for about a minute. Then Gramercy Park, in a studio apartment with a Murphy bed that folded out of the wall. During the entire time I lived there, I had this recurring dream: I would open the door to my closet and it was actually an enormous extra new room! Then I would wake up and be bitterly, bitterly disappointed. Then I moved to the Upper East Side, 81st and Lexington. The woman who had lived in it before me died in bed there, but that didn’t bother me. She must have had good karma. Then I moved to a new apartment with my husband. So, in 20 years, seven apartments.

What’s your best (or worst) NYC taxi story?
A very young, and obviously new, driver was at the wheel of the taxi. He was a lousy driver and he had no idea where he was going. I said, Buddy, you are way too young and way too inexperienced to be driving this taxi. Stop the car. He did. He thought I was going to get out. I went to the driver’s side and told him to move over and let me drive. To my amazement, he did! I drove myself home, with him next to me on the front seat, looking utterly bewildered. When I got out, I gave him a big tip. And my doorman was plenty surprised.

What’s your New York motto?
Seize the day. Because when you’re dead, you’re dead for a r-e-a-l-l-y long time.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
I’ve never had that moment! Should I have had that moment?

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all time?
David Dinkins, because he married me and my husband in our apartment. And then, when my sister accidentally signed her name on the marriage certificate where it read, “Bride,” instead of the line that read “Witness,” he very kindly ran around our apartment trying to find White-Out.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Discovering Greek yogurt with honey and nuts at Likitsakos Greek Market on Lexington Avenue and 80th Street. Discovering the delicious salad at Café Boulud: frisee, bacon and a warm egg right in the middle. Discovering the Grand Marnier prawns at Shun Lee West. Discovering La Creme Cremaillere pistachio ice cream, and then discovering that it’s made in New York out of the famous La Cremaillere restaurant in Bedford. Getting a house account at 21. Even though I never use it, I have it, and that makes me feel very grown up. My most nerve-wracking dining experience was at E.A.T. and I sat down right next to Jerry Seinfeld, and then realized who I was sitting next to, and then I felt terribly awkward, because I didn’t want him to think I was some sort of stalker who had intentionally chosen that seat so I could sit next to him. So, if you’re reading this, Jerry Seinfeld: I didn’t mean to sit next to you! I had no idea that was you! In any event, the whole thing was so upsetting I couldn’t even eat my soup.

Of all the movies made about or highly associated with New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
If Roy Scheider had had a girlfriend in Marathon Man, I would have liked to play that role. (Roy Scheider, of course, being New York’s greatest iconic leading man—you know, slightly worried, slightly intellectual but really physically fit. Remember the scene of him doing the push-ups off the side of the bed in his boxer shorts in his Paris hotel room???) Unfortunately, he didn’t.

What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
I signed copies of my book at a bookstore in Beverly Hills. The publicist arranged to have cookies with the book’s cover image imprinted on the front. She told me they would be “keepsake” cookies for the audience. I asked her why they would be “keepsake” cookies. She said, “Because no one in L.A. actually EATS cookies.”

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
The fact that it’s so far from Ketchum, Idaho, my other favorite place.

[Why Smart Women Still Care About Their Looks: 01/29/07]