Nancy: I think my question is common, yet my situation seems unique given some of the other questions that I’ve read on the same subject. Nonetheless, I really need some advice.
My 2 ½ month old son is really having trouble taking naps in his own bed. He’ll nap in his swing, his carseat or in my arms, but rarely in his bed. He sleeps pretty well in his bed at night, but it does take some time to get him to sleep.I also have two other children (ages 8 and 5) and their schedules (even just taking them to and picking them up from school) make it impossible for me to have him near his bed for every nap (although I’d do it in a minute if I could!). So, he does end up starting at least one nap a day in his carseat. I sometimes try and move him, and sometimes leave him. If I move him, most of the time he wakes up and won’t go back to sleep (unless I hold him or put him in his swing). If I leave him, he’ll sleep for a few hours but I’m wracked with guilt the whole time thinking I’m creating a really bad situation.
For other naps when we are home, I try putting him down when he gets sleepy (sometimes after nursing, sometimes not) and he seems happy to lay down and will talk and be content in his bed for a bit. But he’ll rarely ever fall asleep. He’ll start a protest slowly and then after a time, get more worked up. I’ve tried leaving him for a few minutes to see if he’ll go to sleep and I’ve tried going in right away to pat him—neither option has worked. Is he too young to let “cry it out”?
My husband thinks I’m crazy and should just let him nap in his carseat or swing since it works, but then what do we do down the road when he outgrows those? Do you have any advice for how I can get my son to nap in his own bed? He’s a very mellow and enjoyable little guy other than when he’s supposed to be napping in his bed.
I miss the time that I could be spending with my husband and girls when I’m running up and down the stairs trying to get him to nap.
Please help if you can!
Thanks,
Nancy
Sally Tannen: Nancy, your baby is much too young to let him “cry it out.” I wouldn’t even begin to think about doing that until at least 4 months, when they’ve matured more, and their internal systems have become more regulated, but even then it’s a lot to expect of your baby. He needs to know that you are going to be there for him when he’s upset, and right now he has no idea why he’s crying anyway. Your responding to his needs will help him to feel safe, and he’ll be able to relax and go to sleep without becoming frantic. Many parents have their babies asleep in the car seat and in the swing. It may not be the best, deepest sleep, but it’s better than not sleeping at all, and getting into that difficult cycle you described. I don’t think you have to worry about establishing bad habits yet. His needs will keep changing, his sleeping patterns will change, and you’ll take it as it comes. You have two other children, so it is unrealistic for you to be home all the in time for him to sleep in the crib. Good luck!
Sally Tannen
Director, 92nd Street Y Parenting Center
