Have Jewish comedians pushed the envelope to the point of hemorrhaging stigmata paper cuts? That’s what Emmy Award-winning actress and comedian Judy Gold, Shushan Channel and Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, popular NYC comedians Seth Herzog and Catie Lazarus will be discussing tonight at Makor. First, we run Catie through the ropes course to encourage more hand-wringing and burning.

How many years, apartments and what neighborhoods have you lived in NYC?
CATIE’S NYC CARTOGRAPHY: + Or - 12 places = 9 years + 6 hoods + 3 boroughs. I’ve lived in the West Village, Upper Jewest Side, Parkus Slopus, Billyburg and, obviously, Jamaica, Queens. For the past couple of years I’ve lived without a neighborhood. My home is one block north of the East Village, one block east of Irving Place, three blocks west of Stuyvesant and three blocks east of Union Square. I often stumble at parties, but I just wanted to be straight with you. I am hoodless.

What’s your best (or worst) NYC taxi story?
I asked a cab driver to shoot a scene with me about how ignorant Americans are about Arabs. Evidently, he had a lot of experience. He was not only game, but had ready answers to even my most inane questions like, “Are you related to Bin Laden?”

What era, day or event in New York’s history would you like to relive?
The thought of paying $25 a month in rent appeals, whatever era that was I would like to relive.

What’s your New York motto?
I am sans motto seeing as I’m not a manager of an Applebee’s.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all time?
Gandhi, oh wait he’s not from Nuevo York. All-time is impossible but there are consummate New Yorkers like Henry Stern, the eclectic former Parks Commissioner who bestowed interns to celeb politicians nicknames; Woody Allen, whose mother-in-law is his ex-wife and (biological) son is his brother-in-law; and Russell Simmons, whose latest book “Do You!” preaches about being soulful and yet has ads featuring his young daughters.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Last year, I had a joint birthday dinner with my brother at Dim Sum a Go Go in Chinatown. Friends and family came in from out of town and the owner Veronica Leung doted on us and made special dishes. Otherwise, I’ve had delicious food at the expected places—Aquavit, Nobu Next Door, Russian Tea Room (RIP) and Dunkin’ Donuts. When I left my doctoral studies to do comedy, I trained to be a waitress at Blue Ribbon Bakery. Only, I didn’t get hired. I was told that I was overqualified. Luckily, I have the skills to eat their food (and actually other people’s food too).

Of all the movies made about or highly associated with New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
I would have loved to play Annie Hall in Annie Hall (or the ex-wife who is name dropping friends at the New Yorker), Kay Corleone in the Godfather Part II, and even Andy Sachs in Devil Wears Prada. While not movies, I would have loved to play Valerie Harper’s character Rhoda, Meadow in the Sopranos or Lisa in the Muppets.

What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
In addition to sitting in the same spot on the 110 for 1 hour, 37 minutes and 42 seconds, I attended a glittery party at a palatial house, a.k.a at a “phat pad.” My escort told me the owner’s name and when I did not recognize it, she said, “Duh, his dad is the voice of Garfield.”

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
Just one? What if I stick to words that start with one letter? Times Square can cause sensory overload. There are too many tourists and it’s all lit up with advertisements so that you never know if it is 4pm or 4am. Maybe if tourists were allotted “visiting hours,” like on Monday, Wednesday and Friday on the southside of the street when tourists can roam from 11am to 2pm. 

The End of The World is finally happening. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
Wow. I would wake up and read the headlines, movie reviews and obits. Not for any thoughtful reason but because I always do. I’d get brunch at City Bakery, even if it’s $12.50 a pound, I’d order two pounds. Otherwise, I’d probably wander around Central Park with some friends passing out food to homeless people, see a film or play, and then perform at Carnegie Hall. (If the end of the world is happening, I think the security guard would oblige me my 15 minutes...) Oh, and I would DEFINITELY call 411 a lot and make as many international calls, preferably while roaming, as possible.

[Jewish Comedians Pushing the Envelope: Is There An Envelope Left? 4/26/07]

Coming soon: Judy Gold in Conversation with Kate Ryan on Jewish Mothers: A Mother’s Day Celebration