Em & Lo (Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey) were the resident “love” experts at Nerve.com for four years and with a slew of sex books (plus who knows what else) under their belts, they are now a four-legged walking, talking, and sleeping brand all their own. Tomorrow night, November 30, they bring their bag of tricks to Makor and promise some surprise giveaways. For now, watch them tag-team the 92YQ.

How many years, apartments and what neighborhoods have you lived in NYC?

EM: I moved here at the beginning of 1999: I was in various apartments in the East Village for about five years, then Williamsburg for about six months, and finally Fort Greene. At one point I lived in an illegal sub-sub-sub-sublet on 14th and C and had to walk down the hallway to use the bathroom. It had a padlock and only I could use it, but that didn’t seem to comfort my parents when they came to visit.

LO: Almost 10 years: East 15th and 3rd. I was born here and spent many kick-ass days roller-skating around Stuyvesant Square. 1 year: Fort Greene (before it was hip). Returned as an adult to an apartment which had a basketball court–sized living room, huge master bedroom, pea-sized second bedroom, and dish washer(!). I had a series of unusual, serial roommates: an ascetic coworker who liked to live on 99 cents a day, a young Brazilian woman who hated me, and a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist I found on Craig’s List. 2 years: Bedford Ave near the bridge in Williamsburg (before it was too hip). An overpriced fourth-floor walk up in a dilapidated building. The previous tenant was a heroin addict who went on the run. The current tenants were mice- and squirrel-sized cockroaches. Shared it with a friend/coworker. At least we had the whole rooftop to ourselves (great for Fourth of July). 4 years: Above a bakery on Atlantic Ave on the border of Brooklyn Heights and Boerum Hill. A total score: nice, bright, clean (no cockroaches ever!), amazingly affordable and my wonderful sister for a roommate!

What’s your best (or worst) NYC taxi story?

EM: Before I moved to the city, I was in town for a job interview. A woman crossed the street just as the light was about to change, and an impatient cab driver wound down his window and yelled out, “Move out of the way, lady!” She immediately burst into tears and wailed, “I’m trying to move, I’m trying.” I was walking behind her, and four blocks later, she was still wailing, “I said I’m trying, oh god, I’m trying.” She was wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, and I was horrified at the thought that living in NYC was so stressful that just getting yelled at by a cab driver could make you lose it like that in an instant. I moved here a week later.

What era, day or event in New York ‘s history would you like to re-live?

EM: The black-out of 2003. Everyone was so freakin’ nice that day. I’d sublet my apartment for the whole summer because I was on a book tour (for our first book, “The Big Bang") but I happened to be at JFK between flights when the power went out. So I just headed into the city. I’d spent all my cash on the cab ride and couldn’t get any more out, obviously, but I managed to trade a signed copy of “The Big Bang” for free drinks for me and my friends all night at Baraza. People were dancing and drinking and barbequeing in the street, I’d never seen anything like it.

LO: The black-out of 2003. I totally missed it, because I was still down in North Carolina, the last stop of our book tour. Bummer.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.

EM: I was 30 years old and $20,000 in credit card debt because I was trying to make it as a freelancer and refused to live anywhere besides the East Village (and so long as I was living in the East Village, I figured it was a waste of good real estate if I didn’t eat and drink out every night). Actually, I guess my biggest problem was that I never really did entertain the idea of leaving NYC. I dug my way out by putting everything I owned in storage and crashing on a friend’s couch in Williamsburg until I was debt-free. I haven’t carried a balance on my card since.

LO: 9/11/01.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?

EM: E.B. White.

LO: Woody Allen.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?

EM: One Thanksgiving I decided to host a dinner for all the waifs and strays who weren’t going home. Halfway through the day—and multiple bottles of wine in—the turkey caught fire, and nobody knew what to do (we didn’t exactly cook very often) so I called the fire department for advice. I told them they didn’t need to bother sending anyone over, I was just wondering if they could give me some advice on how to put out a turkey fat fire. I guess advice goes against their policy, because they sent out three fire trucks, sirens and everything. I’ve always had a bit of a fireman thing, and this was so much better than the “fireman” stripper my friends had imported from Albany for my previous birthday.

LO: A toss-up between one Valentine’s Day evening at Pure Food & Wine and many hangover-curing breakfasts of Eggless Rancheros at Life Cafe.

With a nod to Milton Glaser, how much do you really love New York?

EM: It’s a pretty dysfunctional relationship: I’m forever making excuses for it and forgiving it in the morning. But I think you probably have to make at least $500,000 a year before you can enjoy a fully functional relationship with this city.

LO: I love it like a long-term partner: I take it for granted when we’re together, I miss it when we’re apart, I constantly pick out its faults, but I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t always there for me.

Of all the movies made about or highly associated with New York , what role would you have liked to be cast in?

LO: Annie Hall. I actually wore ties and vests with a hat like that in junior high (before I ever saw the movie).

What happened the last time you went to L.A. ?

EM & LO: We were just there on our book tour. We had heard that there was a live-karaoke band going on right after our book party, and seeing as we’re both karaoke whores, we figured it was a perfect fit. (That said, Lo is the one who’s always dragging Em up: Lo likes the performance aspect of karaoke, Em likes the idea of karaoke). But anyway, it turns out that in LA, a city of serious actors and Idol-wannabes, “so bad it’s good” isn’t the karaoke mantra, and people get kind of embarrassed for you if you hit a wrong note or act stupid up there. So we just sat it out.

If you could change one thing about New York , what would it be?

EM: When I lived in the East Village, I used to run a loop down the East River, up the Hudson, and back home through the West Village, and I had this recurring fantasy that some old lady would collapse in my path and I’d save her life and she’d be so grateful that she’d bequeath me her amazing West village apartment that she owned, mortgage-free. With apologies to all the old ladies of the city, I’m still occasionally disappointed that this never happened.

LO: New Yorkers’ manners! When you’re walking in New York, have you ever noticed just how many of those blackened, flattened corpses of bubblegum wads line the sidewalks? It’s mind-boggling. The only thing worse are the spit and loogie puddles. A passerby, who didn’t grasp the simple concept of covering one’s mouth, once sneezed on me on the sidewalk: my only recourse was to wipe the spittle from my shirt onto his. It defies logic (and physics) to barrel your way onto a crowded subway car before letting the departing passengers off first, yet this is the New Yorker way. I once nicely asked a crowd of seated passengers if one of them would give their seat up to this 90+ woman standing beside me, and nobody moved!  And I can’t tell you how many smart, well-educated, successful men in this city still don’t know that it’s rude (not to mention aggressive, disconcerting, awkward...) to face a stranger in an elevator. Face forward, people!

The End of The World is finally happening. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?

EM: I’d probably grab my husband and my dog and head to the Sunburnt Cow on Avenue C. They first opened on the night of the blackout in 2003, and that didn’t stop them from throwing a great party. They just barbequed on the sidewalk instead, and the owner Heathe was so chilled out. So I know they’re good in a crisis. Plus, that was where my husband and I had our first date, so it seems as good a place as any to go out.

LO: Get a group of friends together and storm one of NY’s fancier places with a view (the kind we can’t afford in real life), like the Mandarin Oriental hotel, and have a big, Ecstasy-laced, orgiastic party (the kind we never have in everyday life).

[Ask the Sexperts: 11/30/06]

Related: Singles programming at the Y and Makor.