Brooklyn-born comedian and writer Larry Getlen is the editor of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes. He’ll join Mark Katz—former White House joke writer for President Bill Clinton, mastermind behind the Sound Bite Institute—and Brian Kiley, longtime staff writer for Late Night with Conan O’Brien, for a less-than-serious discussion on the state of the joke at Makor this Thursday.

But first, his thoughts on his hometown.

How many years, apartments and in what neighborhoods have you lived in NYC?
I was born here. Lived in Gravesend till 13 (but called it Sheepshead Bay), then in Flatlands till 24 (but called it Georgetown), then 2½ years in Long Island City (but called it Astoria). Left for 8 unfortunate years. Moved back - lived in Boerum Hill for 3 years, and now Carroll Gardens for 3.

What’s your best (or worst) NYC taxi story?
Our cabbie smashes into another cab. They get out, argue, stop traffic - we just hop out and hail another cab, like it happens every day.

What era, day or event in New York’s history would you like to relive?
1969 – Mets win the Series. I was too young to really remember – plus, my sister was being born that week, so we were a little busy.

What’s your New York motto?
That which does not kill me makes me stronger.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
Late March, 1993. Lived in a basement apartment in LIC, the upstairs neighbors woke at 2 a.m. everyday to man their food carts, stomping on my head as they prepared, and I was single and unemployed with no prospects either way. I did, in fact, leave. Biggest mistake of my life.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all time?
Too many to choose just one. Woody Allen, for the way he made both New York and nebbishy New Yorkers glow on camera; George Carlin, for revolutionizing comedy (and inspiring me toward it); and Paul, Ace, Gene and Peter – otherwise known as KISS – for changing my life with rock and roll.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Babbo – Italian tasting Menu. A good friend was a waiter there at the time – hooked us up pretty sweet.

With a nod to Milton Glaser, how much do you really love New York?
THIS MUCH!!!!! Oh, I don’t know – if I was smart enough to quantify love, I’d be living in a better apartment.

Of all the movies made about or highly associated with New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
Any Woody Allen role from the late ‘70s. (And, bonus answer – NY role I’d LEAST want – any role in Requiem for a Dream.)

What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
Not a damn thing.

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
Rent prices! (Does anyone ever answer anything else to this?)

The End of The World is finally happening. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
Have sex on the Great Lawn in Central Park, then raid Zabar’s.

[Is the Joke Dead? 11/02/06]